Sunday, February 04, 2007

Pass the Puns, Please

I'm having sleep issues. As in I'm not getting enough. Not because I stay up late to download music, or because my children rise at the crack of dawn to start jumping on one another and wrestle; not even because I have a newborn to feed in the quiet hours of the night. Although, I really wouldn't mind that last one, if you are reading this dear adoption people.

No, my problem is Nixon, The World's Greatest Dog, Ever. He has bonded with me. And apparently he has bonded with my pillow. Which means I spend the majority of the night elbowing the damn dog who snores worse than my absent husband, to move the hell over while trying to wrestle a corner of my pillow back from the little hog.

But how do you get mad at a pooch who wants to cuddle right up under your chin every night to keep you warm?

Instead of kicking him out and closing the door, no, I'll just keep elbowing him and whining about what a selfish little pig he is. Much like I would if it were Boo in bed with me, instead of my dog.

However, lack of sleep means you shouldn't have high expectations with today's serving of cheese.

It made me smile and groan, but it is a pungent one folks. Fair warned. You might have heard this one before, but consider it a quality encore production. Even the stinky cheese needs to be aired out now again to be appreciated.


A Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."


Blogger kimmyk said...

HA! I like this one!

I think it's a first.

Sorry to hear you can't sleep. Sleep deprivation is a horrible thing. I know this because I have two dogs who sleep with me and whine when the blankets are fluffed enough for them. Or there isn't enough room for them to sprawl out. Last night I was awake every 2 hours rearranging myself so they would be comfortable.

When I die and come back in some other form-I wanna come back as a dog. Or a man. It's all about the same if ya ask me.

11:35 a.m.  
Anonymous Liza said...


12:56 p.m.  
Blogger MizStarlet said...

May I add you to my links? I love this blog!

4:17 p.m.  
Anonymous mamatulip said...


That's a good one. LOL!

8:02 p.m.  
Anonymous roxylynn said...

Not bad!
Been some better, been some worse.

8:45 p.m.  
Blogger Mom101 said...

I can sympathize. I've got both a flatulent dog, and an enormous cat who likes to curl up in the crook of my neck as if she were still less than 155 lbs and lick my neck in the middle of the night. I must say being in LA pet free? Not so bad in some ways...

9:28 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That joke is so cute! How do people come up with that stuff I will never know.

I came here via KimmyK's blog. I left you a comment on your "retire" blog.

Hope you have a good day today. My honey takes benedryl to help him sleep when he is "Sleepless in Texas". As for me, I just get up and read or blog. I read your other blog until 1:00 a.m... I totally enjoyed your blog. You are definitely an inspiration.

7:57 a.m.  
Blogger Jean said...

Your best yet,Mommy!

11:05 a.m.  
Blogger dennis said...

I smiled, I groaned...I decided to try a seductive speech on the wife.imp later, using a bad chihuahua imitation!

11:59 a.m.  
Blogger creative-type dad said...

Ha!! Pretty funny joke.

I love it when animals talk

3:28 p.m.  
Blogger ECR said...

Roxie sleeps with me whenever my husband is out of town. It's like moving a ton of obstinate bricks ever time I try to creep back toward the center of the bed to keep from being pushed off. Since the weight comes more from the stubborn clinging than actual body size, I can only imagine that little Nixon, The World's Greatest Dog, Ever, is just as hard to move. My only hope for you, my friend, is that he doesn't smell as bad as Roxie.

3:49 p.m.  
Blogger thethinker said...

I was expecting something corny and pathetic, but I actually liked that! Never heard it before.

4:35 p.m.  
Blogger Lotta said...

I understand. I took 2 Nyquil an hour ago and I'm still up!

11:21 p.m.  

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