Thursday, May 18, 2006

Clash of the Titans

With my daughter digging up dinosaur bones, my house is rather quiet. The rattle of the washer and the continuous hum of the dryer doesn't disguise the fact that there is no arguing, no crying and no squeals of laughter. Nope, she took all of that with her and packed it in her suitcase. Her brother Frac, is lost without her. And when I say lost I mean lost to the cyber world of Nintendo games. It's so quiet here I could convince myself I have no kids. So in an effort to bond with my one remaining child, I did what any good mommy would do.

I took him shopping. Because that dear internet, is what eight year old boys like to do. Particularly bra and shoe shopping with their mother. I kept trying to tell him that we were spending quality time together. He kept telling me there was a hockey game on. (Damn you, hubs, you've converted my only remaining son into a hockey nut!)

It was a battle of wills. A clash of the titans, if you will. We both were determined to get what we wanted. Me: a new bra to squeeze my little A's into. Him: to watch the game while playing video games and having his soul slowly sucked from his body. Sadly, neither of us got what we wanted.

Because I am the boss of him, he had to come with me. His dad scored a ticket to the game last night (oh, yippy, they won) which meant the son was mine to torture and harass as I saw fit. But my son, he is a stubborn creature, he may have lost the battle, but he didn't want to lose the war.

Have you ever tried on bras with an eight year old boy on the loose in the store? He snickered, and giggled like the pre-pubescent boy he is. He very loudly announced that maybe I should try the bra with more padding, because I have such small bosoms. He poked every mannequin in the boob he could find. I believe he even put some lacy pink brazilian undies on his head in an effort to speed things along. But the straw that broke this camel's back was when I finally picked a pretty, lacy number, my darling son loudly asked (while standing next to a very cute man) if that bra would make my boobs sag less. Because they are rather hangy.

Hangy!? And the miracle of all this, is I still love him. And choose to feed him. That however, may come to a quick end...


Anonymous jess said...

you are a crazy lady - shopping with an eight year old!

you crack me up!

8:44 a.m.  
Anonymous Chi said...

My 8 yr old sits in the basket with gameboy in hand and an arsenal of games to keep him busy. When my seven year old daughter is there as well we have two baskets two games and I add McDonalds for good measure.

8:52 a.m.  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL,,,I can see the whole scene! It sounds like a not-so-good-time was had by all! Funny, funny. I can just see you all in that store with the good looking man looking on.

10:21 a.m.  
Blogger It's okay, Sweetie said...

Brave...very brave... Next time put a bunch on 'ol credit card and try 'em on at home.

Did he really say "hangy"? Now where did he get that notion from???

3:11 p.m.  
Anonymous motherhooduncensored said...

Just write them all down - I'm pretty sure you'll get your chance to get him back - you know, first dates, wedding days, all that good stuff.

Makes a great toast.

"Oh son, remember the time we went bra shopping and you said my boobs were saggy? Well, I suggest NEVER saying that to your new beautiful wife. Seems like her jumblies are just perfect!"

3:13 p.m.  
Blogger My float said...

Clearly you are the boss of him, but not of his attitude! Would it have broken his spirit to have picked up a pair of little lacy pink undies and say, "Oh, look Frac, they're just your size!"

At least you would have laughed a little before you had to shell out a fortune for therapy.

3:14 p.m.  
Blogger J's Mommy said...

Ha! That is too funny.

8:12 p.m.  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

T...You are so full of stories...Everyday is an amazingly funny adventure and I guess that's why I keep coming back, to see what you have gotten yourself into.

Oh can I relate!

10:04 p.m.  
Blogger Spc. Freeman said...

Years from now, your son will look back on this moment--trolling through the lingerie dept. with Mommy--and reflect, "And that was when I realized I was gay."

*Laughs uncontrollably for five minutes*

No, no, please don't be offended, I'm sorry. I'm just a horrid person. Slap me.

7:19 a.m.  
Blogger wolfbaby said...

Thank God I have two girls, only question is will I have better luck....LOL

10:37 a.m.  

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