Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Would You Like Rice With That?

I have found in my thirty one years there are rare, exceptional pleasures to living on this rock known as Earth. The first electric kiss you share with your partner, the first time your baby smiles into your eyes, getting an unexpected tax refund or even being told your mother-in-law is moving out of province. (I can only dream about that last one....)

Likewise, I have also realized there are always definite certainties. Beyond death and taxes. Some things should always be avoided, because they will never bring pleasure; only disappointment and perhaps pain.

Choosing to eat Chinese food in a small Alberta town where there is only three liquor stores, a post office/general store/feed mill combination and a handful of unkempt houses, ought to be one of those definite certainties. Upon entering, you know it won't taste good and will most certainly end in the manner of you clutching your sides, moaning about death and becoming best friends with the nearest porcelain throne.

Yet you proceed anyways.

Welcome to my world, dear internet.

As if the injustice and indignity of having to suffer through a three day parenting course out in the wilds of Alberta wasn't enough, my lovely government choose to punish us potential parents by ensuring the location of said parenting course was in a town small enough that you can't find it on a map. A town with few means of nourishing yourself. A town where you either took your chances with the gas station vending machine and a slightly suspect, nearly green, ham sandwich with no expiry date on the packaging, or you rolled the dice and tried the local restaurant. It was a crap shoot either way.

Pardon the pun, dear internet.

It was like adding insult to injury, after ingesting the questionably brewed coffee and poorly disguised dog-food they tried serving to us parents.

And the end result of my three day weekend to learn how to parent a special needs child? Well, I can't say I learned much about parenting a special kiddo that I didn't already know.

But I did learn this small town was unusually rodent free and didn't seem to have a dog in sight.



Blogger J. said...

ewwwwwwwwwww ....

10:25 a.m.  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Yummy. You gave the food to Nelson, I hope.

10:47 a.m.  
Anonymous jess said...

You are so awesome.

11:34 a.m.  
Blogger Denice said...

As a fellow Albertan I'm DYING to know what town they stranded you in. Only because it sounds so very much like the teeny town I grew up in…

11:42 a.m.  
Blogger Kat Campbell said...

Oh, yuck! Caught me unaware. That torture had to be designed to weed out the unworthy parents, I'm glad you survived.

5:14 p.m.  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

Chow Chow Mein? Yummy, my favorite.

(I just threw up in my mouth while typing that.)

6:14 p.m.  
Blogger kimmyk said...


You brave brave woman.

But still...puke.

6:46 p.m.  
Blogger Daisydee said...

MMMMmmmm, greem ham sandwich! Sounds great. Is there a reason it couldn't have been in the city?

BTW, no wedding plans yet. That's crazy talk!

6:51 p.m.  
Blogger Mary-LUE said...

Hey there... I'm glad you survived your three day adventure in small town Alberta. I'm more glad that you got the training out of the way and hope you will have your new child soon.

I thought about you and your family on the anniversary of your son's dying. The post you wrote about your last good memory of him was very moving.

How are things this week?

6:56 p.m.  
Anonymous dennis said...

No rodents? No strays?

What is the housing market like?

7:10 p.m.  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

In our town they love cats and will come and pick them up if you call them. I don't...but I knew someone who gave them all of their cats, 7 or 8 and they asked if they knew of anyone else who had some cats to give away. Suspicious????

7:58 p.m.  
Blogger ~*~ D ~*~ said...

As much as I love Chinese food, I have to say I would have been too scared to give it a try in that town! YIKES.

I am glad you survived your 3 days!

8:10 a.m.  
Blogger creative-Type Dad (Tony) said...

OMG!! Too funny.

I love that picture. I want those fortune cookies for a party.

12:20 a.m.  

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