Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Living On a Prayer...

It's a child's right to grow up believing their father is Superdad. To think he is invincible. To believe he is better than all their friends dad's. To think their dad is the strongest. The smartest. He can fix anything. He can leap tall buildings in a single bound, while crushing beer cans in their large, hammy hands. (Okay, that part may just be my dad...)

I grew up in awe of my father. He was my hero. He was always there.

My dad is a character. Missing several digits from various work accidents made for some interesting tales for us kids while growing up. We learned he lost fingers due to wrestling with wild boars; he had them bitten off in prison fights; my mother slammed his fingers in the car door; or his sister bit them off when he was really little.

Of course, we hung on every word. It was rather a let down to realize he was pulling our chains. The truth was so much more boring. He lost them due to an accident at work. Oh, and his brother turned on the car engine when my dad was trying to replace a fan belt. Really. But in my uncle's defense, he did pick up the amputated finger and place it on ice, hoping it could be reattached. It couldn't.

My dad is, was and always will be a force of life. From his off-colour jokes, his trucker mouth, and his amazing generosity, he is the heart of our family. He is the definition of strength and resilience. Courage and humour.

I hope to oneday have as much grace and kindness as he possesses.

On Tuesday morning, it was a huge shock to learn he was being rushed to the hospital. Where he has been ever since.

Where I have been ever since.

A simple foot infection has turned into a staph infection that has went septic. He's not breathing on his own, his blood pressure is so low that it's off the charts, and he is in renal failure. They are throwing everything they have at him to keep him alive. Give him the time he needs for his body to heal.

At 10 a.m. Tuesday morning, the I.C.U. doctors told my mom, my sister and me that my dad has an 80/20 chance of survival. 80 percent being death.

Today, they said 50/50.

I'm hoping tomorrow it's 25/75.

Knowing what a stubborn mule my dad is, I believe he is fighting tooth and nail to beat this infection. But I'm terrified that I will never have the chance to hear him call me a dumbass again. Or to tease him about being toothless. Or to see him wear his shiny new plastic teeth.

I'm scared he won't meet my new son or daughter. I'm scared.

It's been a shitty week. But at least Boo is home, safe, sound and healthy.

And I haven't had to boot him in the ass.

Yet.

30 Comments:

Blogger Canadian Dude said...

Hang in there.

10:58 PM  
Blogger jellyhead said...

T, that must just be so scary for you and your family. Hoping your tough and loving Dad gets better every day.

XO

1:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

T,
I'm sure your love will be one good reason for him to fight for life.
Positive, healing thoughts from "Jellyma".

5:19 AM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

T, I'm so sorry. Your family is in my thoughts.

5:49 AM  
Blogger J. said...

Oh no!
Sending tons of good vibes your way chick. That's just horrible.

Just an aside, my friend's Dad also ended up much the same way, but it started as a kidney infection. Same outcome though. The doctors ended up putting him into a coma so that his body could better fight.

He's right as rain today.
I'm hoping the same for your Dad.

7:37 AM  
Blogger Gette said...

The body has an amazing power to heal, and the soul as great a capacity to fight. Here's hoping the docs can help those two fight the battle back to orneryness.

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Charli said...

It's just never over for you, is it? Hope all gets better for you SOON!

8:35 AM  
Blogger Mary-LUE said...

I can't even begin to say how sad I was when I read this post. I will pray for your dad. . . and you and your family.

8:39 AM  
Anonymous dreadmouse said...

That's terrible. It sounds like your Dad is tough as nails, at least. Not giving up is more than half the battle. I've got all my fingers crossed for you all.

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Robbi said...

Thinking of you, and hoping your dad will be okay.

9:07 AM  
Blogger ECR said...

I am sending more prayers for your dad and your family to live on. Hopefully all these blogging prayers make a very comfy cushion. I will be thinking of him and you and hoping for the best.

10:00 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

Sending positive vibes and prayers your way for a speedy recovery for your dad.

Glad to hear Boo is home and doing well.

I'll be thinkin' of you...

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Jojo said...

We are all praying for you. Your Dad is tough as shit, I know he'll pull through. Tell him I love him.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Motherkitty said...

From our family to your family: all our most positive thoughts and prayers are with you during this trying ordeal. Your dad will get better so he can wear his shiny new teeth and to give you another opportunity for you to tell him what a great guy he is.

Trust in his physicians and modern medicine, but also trust in his strong spirit to fight off this perilous infection.

11:40 AM  
Blogger Denice said...

Sounds like your Dad is a tough old Alberta guy like mine, and he will be just fine. Like canadian dude said, hang in there. And I hope things get better for you this year. If anyone deserves it, it's you.

11:52 AM  
Blogger B.E.C.K. said...

Your tough dad is clearly working at fighting the infection, and your love is giving him strength. I'm keeping you all in my thoughts.

3:44 PM  
Blogger My float said...

I'm sending you the very best of wishes for your dad's speedy recovery.

3:57 PM  
Blogger stefanierj said...

I feel like your Cosmic score is dramatically in your favor on this one, so I am assuming your dad is going to recover quickly. or I will have to kick the universe's ass. Seriously.

My prayers are with you.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Daisydee said...

I am thinking and praying for you and your dad.

I love you T!!

6:51 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Jesus T, how much can one woman bear? I'm with StephanieRJ, karma has got to be on your site here.

Fingers and toes crossed.

6:52 PM  
Blogger Samantha said...

He's in my prayers. Hope he gets better soon.

7:31 AM  
Blogger Junebugg said...

Best wishes for Dad's speedy recovery. I know what you're going through, we lost both our parents in the past year and it's something that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Be sure to talk to him even if you don't think he can hear, Mom claimed she heard every word while she was in a coma. Tell him you Love Him and hold his hand, it'll be good for both of you

11:36 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

Oh,hon, I am sending all good thoughts to you and your dad.

{{hugs}}

2:58 PM  
Blogger Thumper said...

Ah, hell...I hope all goes well for him. I have fingers crossed and am sending as much Mojo as I can...

10:12 PM  
Blogger lynsalyns said...

My dad walked on water, too. Yours sounds wonderful. Thinking of you and yours, and praying, too.

I'm so sorry you are going through all this! All my positive vibes are winging your way.

Love him hard as you can.

8:18 PM  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

T...my heart goes out to you and your family and I'm praying that your dad continues to improve.

9:53 PM  
Blogger L-Girl said...

Ooooh, hang in there T. Prayers are comin' his way, and your's.

12:10 AM  
Blogger Old MD Girl said...

Wow T, it sounds like you've had a pretty unlucky 12 months or so. I hope things get better for you and your family. You will pull through this, I promise. I hope your Dad is ok.

8:54 AM  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Sooo sorry to hear this, my dear...I dearly hope your father fights this off and recovers ASAP...These kinds of infections are really hell...It's great that he is getting such good care...My prayers are with you and your family.

1:13 AM  
Anonymous Sarah said...

What a horrible thing! I'm sorry to hear about this; I'm sending big wishes and hopes that things turn around for you and for your dad. Hang in there.

9:15 AM  

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