Sunday, February 18, 2007

Pass the Puns, Please

It happened again. The hubs has left me for more lucrative prospects. Apparently, the lure of big money and the prospect of sharing a hotel room with a sweaty, smelly, overweight balding man was just more tempting than having lots of bendy sex quality time with me and bonding with his children.

I'm cool with it though. Let's get real. After a month of having the bed to myself, not tripping on his dirty socks or sitting in the damn toilet bowl because he thoughtfully left the seat up to make peeing easier for himself next time nature called, I was ready to see him off.

Sure I'll miss the back rubs, the words of whispered romance and the ability to have an evening to myself since the kids crawled over him like ants on a syrup bottle, but there is such a thing as too much.

And he'll be back soon. In ten days or so. Just enough time for me to start missing him again. As long as he gives me plenty of notice of his arrival, all will be well.

I wouldn't want him to know the truth about how we live while he's off busting his bottom. It takes time to pick up the empty pop bottles, chip bags and candy wrappers scattered everywhere. The layer of filth that accumulates in his absence doesn't miraculously clean itself you know.

A special thanks to my brother-in-law and his wife, a.k.a the Great White Hunter and Martha Freakin' Stewart, for opening their home to me and my small brood last night so we wouldn't wallow in our collective misery about Boo's departure. Thanks for the Chinese food Frac whined about eating (it was very good, but for some reason I was hungry an hour later), the hockey game (it was a treat to be able to see the Oil lose; generally I just listen on the radio), and for sharing your chitlens, One through Five. Even if One, Two and Three think it's cute to lick me, I still love them.

Now I'm off to hunt down some chocolate and spend some quality time with my children, whom I have ignored for the better part of a week. Enjoy le fromage while I dust off my parenting skills!

Paints were a very precious commodity in the good old days, and British merchants could make a small fortune supplying paints to the colonies.

One company sent a clipper ship full of red paint across the ocean. It had the very bad luck to collide with another ship full of blue paint.

As a result of this disaster, both crews were... marooned.

Hee hee.


Blogger kimmyk said...

I thought red and blue mixed together made purple. But then again, saying that one was purpled doesn't quite make as much sense as saying marooned now does it?

Sorry to hear the hubs left ya again. Love 'em and leave 'em. That's what they wait. That's what my men do. Use to do. USE.TO. do. Not now. Now they just hang on for dear life. God love my Honey.

12:50 p.m.  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

I am ALWAYS hungry about an hour after I eat Chinese. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

5:18 p.m.  
Blogger MamaMichelsBabies said...

I think everyone is hungry after eating Chinese... it's one of the laws of the universe I believe. As for hubs... no pity here hun, after walking around to every freaking store in my area looking at televisions (which he swears were all different, but they all looked the same to me) I'm sorely tempted to send him off with your hubs, and throughly enjoy him being far far away. And making me oodles of money.

You can't miss em unless their gone right?

6:11 p.m.  
Blogger Wendy said...

That one was real cheesy. I still loved it, though.

6:47 p.m.  
Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

maybe the red paint ship was bigger than the blue....

Off and running every 10 days or so? I think I could handle that, with liberal amounts of bendy sex quality time (that's BSQT for us horn dogs)

8:39 p.m.  
Blogger kfk said...

Oh yes, no husband=dinner out of a box or can.


8:06 a.m.  
Blogger dennis said...

I am usually hungry an hour after eating Chinese food too. And Mexican food.

9:30 a.m.  

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