Saturday, March 24, 2007

Releasing My Inner Freak

I love Saturdays. Today is the day I can kick back, crack the whip, and watch my little servants children clean my house. Of course, they don't do a very good job, but when your vision is blurred by the mommy juice, everything just sparkles so purdy-like.

While my little slaves, and please note, I didn't strike the word 'slave'. Why bother denying it? After all, I figure they owe me. I gestated those lil' buggers for ten months (cuz they refused to leave the womb like normal babies), got stretch marks and a permanent hemorrhoid for my effort. When they decided to vacate the premises to explore the world awaiting them, they burst forth with such gusto that they left my poor vagina torn and tattered. And let's not get into the horrible things they did to my nipples. I have since endured the indignities of having to clean up all manner of body fluids and solids, have been repeatedly infected with plague-like germs, have been called to the principal's office more times than a little boy with ADD and have had to eat more ketchup-covered foods than a human should be made to.

So yes, my slaves. While my slaves scrub (half-assed, admittedly) and polish, and generally try to make our home presentable, I like to kick back with my coffee and Bailey's, grab a book, and relax. Occasionally, I will look up, and point out where they missed a spot. Because I'm thoughtful like that.

If they are really nice to me (re: don't whine too loudly) I will let them play music whilst they toil. Because I am a big music lover. Nothing soothes the soul of this beast like melodic harmonies blaring from my antiqued stereo system. So, when the lovely Southern Mom of 2 tagged me for this musical meme, I was delighted. And fearful.

Because now you will all know my lack of taste doesn't just extend itself to cheap wine and smelly puns. It is awful across the board. The rules of this particular meme, if you are unaware, are that I am to list seven songs I am presently enjoying and then pass the pain along to seven more.

Well, dear internet, I am nothing if not a sentimental fool. My music tastes run the gamut but I have this annoying charming quirk of having to play the same songs over and over again, every damn day, even if I am listening to a new artist or c.d. If my stereo is on, these songs must pass the speakers and into my ears. I'm kinda obsessive about this. To the point that my husband and small children would like to hurt me when they hear these songs.

So, this musical meme is perfect to me. I can share their pain with you. And share I will. Buckle your seat belts and be prepared to be shocked and amazed at my inner musical geekiness.

I'm so embarrassed.

1. TO WHERE YOU ARE, Josh Groban. I figure this is pretty self-explanatory, but for some clarification, after my son passed away, I was struggling with facing our first Christmas only weeks after his passing. When I went through our mail, I found a parcel from his lovely Lyle. His pediatrician knew how I suffered and mailed me this c.d with a sticky on it to listen to this track. Fric, Frac and myself mourned that night; raw with our wounds, while listening to the voice of an angel. Now we listen to this song and smile and it brings us closer to our Bug.

2. RESPECT, Aretha Franklin. Words that I live by. Generally with a hairbrush in my hand while dancing around with Fric and Frac, trying to capture my inner Aretha.

3. ANIMALS, Nickelback. Gotta love any song that reminds you of the time you and your husband were 18 and parked out in the middle of nowhere, engrossed in a good match of tonsil hockey, when out of no where, a police officer appears, raps on the window and wants to know if everything is alright. And wants to hear it from the lady. The lady who is shirtless and trying to cover herself up while dying of embarrassment. Yeah, gotta love that song.

4. WHAT A GOOD BOY, Barenaked Ladies. My inner musical geek shines through here. But every time this song comes on, my hubs starts to sing and rock out and I get to giggle at him. True love at it's finest.

5. TINY DANCER, Elton John. I discovered Elton at the tender age of thirteen. I have loved him ever since. I can rock out to any of his music and whenever I feel particularly stressed, his is the first voice I long to hear to chill out to.

6. THE TRUCK GOT STUCK, Corb Lund. Let me explain, before you stone me and hiss. First off, you can't live in Alberta, go to live shows and avoid Corb. He is an institution. And he is so very, very nice. Really. I've met him. More than once. Secondly, you can't be an Albertan farmer and not understand this song. And thirdly, my kids know every word and we like to screech it from the top of our lungs. And I live close to a Hutterite colony and it is sooo true.

7. I'LL BE THERE, Shane Young. Another lesser known Canadian gem. He also happens to be my Piano man, and provider of free booze. How could I not love him? On Valentines day he crooned all my favorite songs to me and my hubs so as to ensure Boo would get lucky that night. That's friendship at it's finest. Plus, he's teaching me to cook. So my husband won't leave my sorry ass. What's not to love?

There you go, my inner freak revealed. I'm not going to tag anyone, cuz I'm a rule-breaking rebel that way. Now I'm going to slink off into the darkness of the interweb, plug in my earbuds and pray I don't die of embarrassment. But not before I get the kids to scrub the floors.


Blogger soccer mom in denial said...

Where have you BEEN? Someone else who extolls the virtues of booze, err mommy juice, while parenting!

I was also tagged for this one but will share mine next week.

I like your humor.

10:45 a.m.  
Blogger Wendy said...

I like the truck one and I think I will use it to torture my husband.

I think it would have been right up my grandfather's alley. We all know about trucks getting stuck. You havent lived until you have had red Mississippi mud fly in your face while trying to free your car from it.

11:24 a.m.  
Blogger bubandpie said...

I love What a Good Boy - all kinds of mother-son angst there.

11:49 a.m.  
Blogger Em said...

I fear my musical tastes are even more unusual than yours. But your lead-in of making the kiddies scrub the castle makes the whole story perfect!

11:59 a.m.  
Anonymous Izzy said...

At least some of your choices are, unlike mine, from THIS century ;)

12:44 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I listened to the first song by Josh Groban, gave me goosebumps and made me cry.

1:04 p.m.  
Blogger Jacquie said...

The 1st time my oldest did her "truck got stuck" sing along hubby and I almost died laughing!! I think he is the country version rap LOL, he's good though.

2:10 p.m.  
Blogger slouching mom said...

Who can argue with Aretha?

And Elton John. Yes. Especially 'Levon', for me.

The rest I'm too uncool to know. Or maybe (giggling at the absurdity) too cool to know!

3:27 p.m.  
Blogger Bon said...

see, now the fogeys are starting to come out of the closet...and i'm starting to enjoy this meme! yay you!

i also love "What a Good Boy" and had completely forgotten about it, stuck as it was in the pile of mixed tapes that never made it to CD...but i think i'll go see if i can get it off imusic.

and i got Dave Corb Lund's cd for Christmas after hearing "Five Dollar Bill" on CBC and not being able to get it out of my head for days. he's cool.

3:30 p.m.  
Blogger jellyhead said...

I think we all have un-cool songs we secretly adore - yours are pretty hip compared to some of my faves!

I love that you make your kids do chores. I am a fellow slave-driver :)


4:22 p.m.  
Blogger Maria said...

Well, I only recognized Aretha and Elton, so I have me some learning to go and do.

It is freeing to admit to geek songs, though.

I still love Sting's Fields of Gold and have been known to get all teary when it is played.

We gotta respect our inner geeks. It's a rule.

My daughter and I actually have a dance routine to Our Lips Are Sealed by the Go Gos. We are GOOD.

5:43 p.m.  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...


Find out what it means to me.



6:12 p.m.  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

That does it. When I meet you, my dear, I will serenade you with my own, drunken, rendition of "Hold me Closer, Tony Danza". You can't wait, can you?

Trust me, it's much better than my Aretha impression.

7:34 p.m.  
Blogger Above Average Joe said...

One of these days I will grow a big enough set and post about Mrs. Joes 'roid dilemmas.

8:24 p.m.  
Blogger kimmyk said...

You said:
"they left my poor vagina torn and tattered"

Stop blamin' the lovelies for all those years of parkin' with the hubs. We all know who did what and well...yah.

I only knew two of those songs. I obviously need to get out more.

8:44 p.m.  
Anonymous heather said...

I had never heard that Corb Lund song before as I am not a big Country music fan but I love it! I too am an Alberta hick (Rocky Mountain House area) and it is so true. Several of those guys in the video could be my family members (not the Hutts mind). Thanks T, you made my day.

8:53 p.m.  
Blogger jen said...

this song is the hairshirt i wear, this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair, this song is the cross that i bear, bear with me...

dude. totally.

11:56 p.m.  
Anonymous Boo said...

Wow honey you're incredible. I'm sure that the cop just wanted to get as good a look at you as I was getting.

But really people we were to innocent to be doing any of that funky stuff! Come on, I'm that 'good' little farm boy.... just ask me.

6:42 a.m.  
Anonymous the new girl said...

I was parked on the edge of a baseball field when the police came rapping at the window.
Thanks for the memories...lmao.

8:45 a.m.  
Blogger Jenni said...

(In regard to #3) OMG! You were there? This is so embarassing! Where were you? Cuz I couldn't see anything with that flashlight shining in my face.

7:03 p.m.  
Blogger Jenni said...

I just thought of a new meme: Name Seven Places. Wow, that #3 really takes me back, LOL.

7:06 p.m.  
Anonymous TSM-Truth, Sincerity, Madness said...

Well, if you're a freak, you're in good company. Great songs!

9:06 p.m.  
Anonymous daisydee said...

Yep, you sure are geeky!! But I love ya anyway.

11:18 a.m.  
Blogger amusings_bnl said...

oooooooh. i am a huge HUGE bnl fan. What a good boy is the best.

(came here via terroni's blog. just thought i'd say hello.)...


4:49 p.m.  
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