Reasons I tell Myself I love him

I woke up this morning knowing that all was right with my world. I was showered and clean, my bedding had been burned and I could make coffee without twisting the tops off of six bottles of water. Everything was right as rain. So I set about my morning routine. I got the kids up, fed, dressed, groomed, lunches made and after kissing and hugging them I shoved them out the door. Because nothing could ruin this right as rain feeling faster than them missing the bus and me having to drive 20 minutes to drop them off at school. Hence, the kissing and shoving. But I did it with love.

I made coffee, I got in the shower, I played with my nose, and I gussied up. Off to the big ole city for this mommy. No playing in dirt today. No, today is the day I buy my puppy his new bed, his food, and all the other puppy paraphernalia I will need for when I bring him home this weekend.

I grabbed my purse and went to get my keys. No keys. No biggie. The hubs drove my car last night, he probably just left them on the seat. Right? So I lock the door and go to my car, while trying to ignore my ruined lawn and broken apple tree, both victims of the water line fiasco. Nope, I'm feeling refreshed and ripped up sod and a bent tree trunk are not going to kill this high I'm on. Because I have rejoined the free world; I have clean, running water.

I get to my car, and look for the keys. No keys. Just then my cell phone rings. My darling hubs is madly trying to reach me. Apparently, in a dazed fog this morning he decided he needed my keys as well as his own. So he took every set of car keys we own. But he is very sorry and he will make it up to me later. My anticipated trip to the big city vanished in the ring of a phone. My only course of action was to declare defeat or ride my lawn mower to town. But my mower doesn't have a radio.

So, there I am, stranded in my own car, out in the sticks and locked out of my house to boot. Suddenly that fresh feeling just vanished. Picture me, a wheelbarrow (for height) and my ass in the air as I was shimming through the kitchen window. I broke my plant, cut my finger and bent my screen. And to add salt to my wounds, no shopping for me.

When my darling hubs returns home to his castle tonight, he better be a smooth talker. He better bring treats. Not just for my new puppy but for me as well. Because his chance of survival at this point isn't looking so swell.