Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Drawing A Line In The Sand

Being a natural (ahem) blonde, I have never worried much about grey hair. When I go to my hair stylist it is generally to have her put the blonde back into my once naturally light hair. I have never bothered standing before a mirror to search for grey hair. If I did happen to spot one, I would probably dance a jig, as it is one less hair I would have to pay to have lightened. That being said, I am not immune to the ravages of time. As my children like to keep pointing out.

But I'm a strong, independent woman, who does not place her entire self-worth on the image staring back at her in the mirror.

Shut up, Boo. This is my blog and I don't need your laughter ringing in my ears.

I understand that wrinkles are just memories smiles have left behind.

Really, does anyone believe this crap?

I can get behind the lines in the mirror without wanting a little shot of the botulism virus to make me feel better. I can adjust my once pert and perky boobs, thanks to the miracle of under wire. And if my bottom wants to spread a little, well, that's okay too. Isn't that what support underwear is for?

But I have to draw a line in the sand somewhere.

And that line has been drawn. Right under my chin.

Where a wayward black hair has pushed it's way through my milky white skin and protrudes like a thirteen year-old boy wearing sweat pants while watching the cheer squad practice their splits.

I have my very own whisker.

I've tried plucking the damn thing. It just keeps coming back. Uninvited and unannounced. (Like my mother-in-law. Hmmm...)

Waging a war on one lone whisker, I seem to have lost this battle. I wonder each time I pluck the damn thing, if three more are going to come and replace it. I wonder if I will wake one morning to discover that I am the bearded lady all the kids want to see when the carnival comes to town.

As if it is not an indignity in itself that my once firm jaw line has gone a little soft. A little less firm. In a few years, it may start to resemble the ole turkey waddle. Now I have to deal with a renegade hair that wants to draw attention to this fact?

Perhaps I should just give up. Embrace my new look. Grow out my little chin hair.

And when it gets long enough, I can put a bead on it and make music with the wind.

I can start a whole new trend.

Matching beads on my boobs with the chin bead as an accessory.

I'm so sexy.

***Edit: Okay, dear internet, for all you fellow bloggers who have informed me of the dreaded neck whiskers, I concede to you. That is much scarier. And neurotic. (As I now stare in the mirror every two seconds to see if I've sprouted one yet!)***


Blogger B.E.C.K. said...

Well, that whole thing about extra hairs sprouting as a result of plucking is just an old wives' tale. Have you read/heard that plucking one's eyebrows repeatedly can damage follicles to the point that some hairs won't grow back after being plucked too many times? There you go. So I say pluck away. Eventually the hair will stop coming back as strongly and as often, if it comes back at all. And I'm speaking from experience. Ahem. ;^)

9:39 a.m.  
Blogger J. said...

I seem to remember somebody *coughYOUcough* laughing at my chin hairs and other assorted woes a few weeks back.


Laugh it up chicklet. The fates are listening ...

9:58 a.m.  
Blogger ECR said...

Wah. Wah. Cry me a river. One hair. Wah. My full beard scoffs at your one, lonely hair. I pluck those things on a daily basis. Okay, scratch that. My husband plucks them, because it's easier for him to get under my chin and pluck it with accuracy. Talk about sexy.

10:37 a.m.  
Blogger Old MD Girl said...

What's worse than a lone black hair on your chinny chin chin? Try a bunch of WHITE (as well as black) hairs on your neck AND chin. Cause they match the white hairs on my head. And I'm not even 30 (yet). Fortunately the white hair plague has not spread to other important regions. I may have to go with a brazillian if it ever gets to that point.

11:22 a.m.  
Blogger ~*~ D ~*~ said...

I feel your pain I have one too. But at least we pluck it right?

My sister refuses to acknowledge they are there and so she does not pluck. I carry tweezers with me when I go to her house, if I can get at her quickly enough and get away before she slaps me, I help her out and yank those suckers!

It's not easy though, she's began to twitch when I get near her.

11:24 a.m.  
Blogger bubandpie said...

Ah, yes, the chin hair and I are old friends. It's the middle-of-the-neck hair that really takes you by surprise.

1:07 p.m.  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

You're crying over one single black hair? C'mon. I'm starting to look like Rip Van Winkle over here. I've got black hairs on my chin, poking through a mole, on my jaw line and then the spreading hair down my neck. And please don't get me started on my upper lip and nose.

It's all down hill from here, hon.

6:37 p.m.  
Blogger EmmaSometimes said...

oh, wait till the chin hair turns grey. Oh, boy, that's fun.

By the way, love your blog!

6:44 p.m.  
Blogger Red Rollerskate said...

That's not an age thing! I had my first one at 27! That's what tweezers are for.

9:02 p.m.  
Blogger Thumper said...

If I had just one chin hair, I would celebrate. I literally have enough to grow my own little goatee, and they're all dark enough and thick enough to be noticeable.

And it all started with just one... :)

12:36 a.m.  
Anonymous Jenifer said...

I feel your pain... mine seemed to multiply 10 fold after having kids. I pluck the chin every morning.... ack. And I am not immune to the errant neck hair either.

You have no idea how good it feels to know I am not alone....

7:03 a.m.  
Anonymous Charli said...

I have one on the underside of my chin, one in between my boobs, and another on my hip. And I am 23!

12:39 p.m.  
Blogger stefanierj said...

My problem is that the little bastards sneak up on you totally. I'll look and look for 'em and find nothing and then BAM a week later, I look like I've been walking through cobwebs. Yuck.

2:04 p.m.  
Blogger cinnamon gurl said...

Yeah, I have one of those too. And I had to laugh at (and, erm, identify with)a blogger who mentioned that one hair was strategically placed so as to make her wee one look like Dali while nursing.

3:16 p.m.  
Blogger cinnamon gurl said...

Yeah, I have one of those too. And I had to laugh at (and, erm, identify with)a blogger who mentioned that one hair was strategically placed so as to make her wee one look like Dali while nursing.

3:17 p.m.  
Blogger kimmyk said...

Let it grow long enough then hopefully it'll fall out in your soup when you're dining out with Boo and then you can complain and get your dinner for free.

Gosh I think of everything.

Y'all some crazy ass women makin' me sick to my stomach, but still..I'm laughin so...*shudders* I should go look at my chin...

"Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!"

5:51 p.m.  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Well, I feel left out after reading all of your comments. I don't have chin or neck hairs and after years of plucking my eyebrows, the ones I plucked don't grow back anymore.

If you just have one hair, pluck it each time you see it and it will eventually give up and not return...hopefully.

6:22 p.m.  
Blogger Kat Campbell said...

Ugh, hair, hair everywhere. Mine made their appearance in my late 30's, now I just was my entire face and avoid mirrors. I'm not sure we should let Pasadena live.

6:34 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you sure you only have one of those nasty chin hairs honey? Just kidding my love..... but you said that you did want me to start commenting when I read your blog!

Are you so sure now?

By the way dear internet I am a VERY luck man and I didn't even notice the hair on her chin because I still can't stop staring into her amazing eyes!

Is that better Love? See you soon.

7:36 p.m.  
Blogger Jeremiah said...

I've got an especially social nose hair that keeps returning, as if to say "And, another thing...!" I pluck, it stays away for a couple of weeks, then, one morning, there it is again, WHAM! Hello world!

Now, if I get an ear hair, I'm digging a divot out of the side of my head. I'm not doing ear hair.

9:59 p.m.  
Blogger Daisydee said...

One chin hair? Wait until you get a

I have had one little lucky chin hair since I was 19 and it got noticed an when it was a half an inch long in the sunlight while I was having dinner with 2 guys...

How embarrassing!!

6:32 a.m.  
Anonymous Roxylynn said...

Oh, the joys of aging! I wouldn't worry about one. When there's ten, then you can get your panties in a ruffle. Just think, when we are in the home together, we can pluck out those scraggly old hairs for eachother. Sound like a deal?

10:59 a.m.  
Blogger Earth Girl said...

Roxylynn, I made a pact with my girlfriends when we were in our forties to sneak in the old folks home and pluck out the errant hairs for each other. Now in our fifties, we laugh about the potential damage we would do to each other - imagine a bunch of half blind, shaky old ladies coming after you with tweezers.

9:13 p.m.  
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