Sunday, March 25, 2007

Pass the Puns, Please

Part of parenting involves giving of one's time, energy and knowledge. I don't generally have a problem with this except for when it comes to math homework. Then I scurry off into a dark corner (usually my pantry, where I keep my booze) and wait until they figure it out for themselves. I don't want my children to discover how incredibly useless I am when it comes to basic math skills. They'll figure it out for themselves soon enough. Why rush it?

Today's lesson in parenting will not involve any math. It will, however, involve chocolate chips, sugar and cracking some eggs. My kids want to learn to bake cookies and who am I to stand in the way of their dreams? I plan on sitting at the counter, supervising in a very serious manner and licking out the bowl. Because cookie dough is very serious business.

Somebody could get hurt if they tried to get between me and that raw sugary goodness.

Of course, while my children toil away to serve me with warm, fresh, gooey cookies, I will be letting my inner freak out, to groove to the beats that soothe my soul. Go ahead, laugh at me. I'll be stuffing my face with heavenly confection and jerking about like a chicken having epileptic fits. But I will be enjoying myself while doing it.

I'll leave you this cheesy goodness as my gift to you. Since I can't won't share my cookie batter with you, I will at least offer you this stinky fromage. I'm thoughtful like that. Enjoy!

In my neck of the woods there are many businesses that are home to cats. One particular bar in our neighbourhood has a very well groomed resident cat who is quite friendly. In fact, the owner has a rule that no customer may order a drink without having the kitty sit in his lap and groom herself for a while.

He wants to be sure that all his customers can hold their licker.

Hee hee.


Blogger kimmyk said...

I love me some cookie dough! And cake batter!

I've seen women in bars like the cat you speak of. Always sitting in a guys lap at the bar licking herself.

Wait! Was that you?

9:41 a.m.  
Blogger Ben & Bennie said...

It depends on how tall and hairy she was. 5'8" with bushy legs then that would be t.

9:49 a.m.  
Blogger daysgoby said...

My son watches Cyberchase* religiously (and has since he was two.) I lurk in the background, offering him chocolate chip cookies and trying to be sure he absorbs something about fractions.

'Cause I LOATHE math. Down to my need-to-be-painted toes.

*PBS. Three kids in cyberchase. It's all about math, baby.

10:36 a.m.  
Blogger Denice said...

I am also useless at math. My poor Gracie has two journalists for parents, both of whom picked said profession specifically for the lack of math classes. The poor girl doesn't stand a chance. I should probably start putting money away for the tutors…

12:01 p.m.  
Anonymous SuburbanOblivion said...

I suck at math, but I bake a pretty good cookie :)

1:16 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love bad puns, I don't suppose there's any other kind really. Love the cat tapping her toes as well.

1:30 p.m.  
Blogger soccer mom in denial said...

Glad to know I'm not the other mother who hoards the cookie dough.

1:49 p.m.  
Blogger ECR said...

Last time I saw a guy handling a pussy at the bar, they both got kicked out.

Maybe that bartender was allergic to kitties.

3:17 p.m.  
Blogger craziequeen said...

[rotflmao] 'licker'..good joke, T!!

btw - I adore oatmeal and raisin cookies, but they are getting quite hard to get here in England - it seems the English prefer chocolate chip, double choc chip, white choc you see a pattern here? [lol]


3:33 p.m.  
Blogger jellyhead said...

The pun is awful (as all puns are), but that cat is great! I love how the eyes go slitty - SO like real cats!

3:34 p.m.  
Blogger Maria said...

God, I'm jealous. You let your kids bake. I sit there with Liv and practically swallow my tongue to keep from screaming, "You get sugar on the floor and I am going to sweep it up and put it in your bed tonight, missy!"

4:19 p.m.  
Blogger carrie said...

So that's where our psycho cat "Smokey" ran off to when we moved.


6:42 p.m.  
Blogger Teronni said...

Free child labor and now cookie dough!

If I ignore that little part about the hemorrhoids, torn nether regions, and math, you make parenting sound pretty damn good!

6:46 p.m.  
Blogger MamaMichelsBabies said...

Licker.. hehe

Yummy.. cookies... I shall have to try this child labor you speak of. It's gotta be better then doin it myself.

6:21 a.m.  
Blogger Mrs. Chicken said...

You always manage to top yourself.

Just last night Mr. Chicken told me stats was really just algebra, and didn't I remembe algebra?

Uh, no. I flunked it.

When The Poo needs math homework help I'm sending her to her uncle, who has two degrees from MIT.

7:34 a.m.  
Blogger Groovy Lady said...

If I was that bar owner, I don't think I would like the idea of so many strangers handling my pussy like that.

Funny post.. loved the pun. :)

Btw.. I have three kids, so far I have failed math 18 times throughout their school years.. thank God they are smarter than me with it.

8:03 a.m.  
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3:10 a.m.  

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