Picture this...
With all the merriment of the Christmas season upon us, it has been easy to overlook the fact my darling hubs and I are expecting another member to our family. After all, I'm not pregnant and thus, I am not suffering from weight gain, hormonal mood fluctuations and odd cravings. (Well, I have been jonesing for some smoked oysters, but I am most definitely not pregnant.)
So when my adoption case worker contacted me and informed me she needed to do an informal home visit before the formal home assessment could be done (gotta love bureaucracy!) I was taken back. I panicked. I didn't feel ready to take on the responsibility of a new child. But I am smart enough to realize that a lot of this is due to holiday stress. I miss my son, and it's hard to think of anything but Christmas morning with no Bug to cuddle with. So I agreed to the meeting and set up a time.
Which was this morning. Of course, that meant hastily running around, stuffing things into closets and doing a quick once over with a duster. I just prayed she wouldn't want an inspection of the kids rooms or my laundry room. All three of which look like a tornado blew through them.
She didn't. No, she was more interested in my parenting techniques. How I discipline the kids (where's my wooden spoon), support them in crisis (suck it up, buttercup), provide them with adequate nourishment and stimulation so that they will grow into healthy and productive members of society (Chef Boy R Dee, I love thee). Imagine her surprise when she discovered the Worm, just hanging out.
Kidding. That isn't my nephew. Just some random neighbor's kid whom I duct-taped to the wall. With her ducky.
After her shock of learning this redneck's technique for time-outs, we quickly settled into a groove discussing our grief, our hope and our goals.
The conversation quickly turned to child matching and what type of child Boo and I hope to adopt.
It's hard to put into words. Sometimes it is just easier to show somebody a picture.
He or she should fit right in around here.
***No children were harmed in the makings of this post. As for the kid in the pic, I couldn't tell you.***
So when my adoption case worker contacted me and informed me she needed to do an informal home visit before the formal home assessment could be done (gotta love bureaucracy!) I was taken back. I panicked. I didn't feel ready to take on the responsibility of a new child. But I am smart enough to realize that a lot of this is due to holiday stress. I miss my son, and it's hard to think of anything but Christmas morning with no Bug to cuddle with. So I agreed to the meeting and set up a time.
Which was this morning. Of course, that meant hastily running around, stuffing things into closets and doing a quick once over with a duster. I just prayed she wouldn't want an inspection of the kids rooms or my laundry room. All three of which look like a tornado blew through them.
She didn't. No, she was more interested in my parenting techniques. How I discipline the kids (where's my wooden spoon), support them in crisis (suck it up, buttercup), provide them with adequate nourishment and stimulation so that they will grow into healthy and productive members of society (Chef Boy R Dee, I love thee). Imagine her surprise when she discovered the Worm, just hanging out.
Kidding. That isn't my nephew. Just some random neighbor's kid whom I duct-taped to the wall. With her ducky.
After her shock of learning this redneck's technique for time-outs, we quickly settled into a groove discussing our grief, our hope and our goals.
The conversation quickly turned to child matching and what type of child Boo and I hope to adopt.
It's hard to put into words. Sometimes it is just easier to show somebody a picture.
He or she should fit right in around here.
***No children were harmed in the makings of this post. As for the kid in the pic, I couldn't tell you.***
posted by Redneck Mommy at 12:15 p.m.
16 Comments:
A friend sent me that duct photo--I have it up on my wall at work.
I just love the look on the ducks face...
And the baby's reaction is like "hold on there buddy, I'll think of something"
Great!
Oh my goodness. That duct-taped kid is making my eyelid twitch vigorously. (Please don't fall, anonymous cute kid!)
The studded, tattooed baby is a scream!!
Man you just keep in spinning out these awesome posts. You are hilarious!
Ewwww, that picture of the kid with the studs gave me the shivers. I "know" it's made up but what warped mind conceived that?
I'm sure, with your innate sense of saying and doing the right thing, your interview went just fine and that baby will be on your doorstep before you know it. I'm sure you will be very happy when all this bureaucracy is done and over with.
Hope you and yours have a very merry happy and healthy Christmas.
Two visits today. Two out loud laughs.
Wait ... you mean a clean house is not paramount for parenting skills? Damn, I guess I've been misplacing my priorities. I suppose instead of mopping the floors twice a day I'm supposed to do something like read to my kid? Whoda thunk?
Ah yes, tattoed and pierced. But will the baby be hairy? That's what I want to know. 'Cause if the baby ain't hairy he's never going to fit in with your family.
:)
T, seriously, I wish we lived closer. You are my kind of people. I love your sense of humor.
I agree with motherkitty, that baby with the tatoos and piercings does look a little creepy. Little do they know, that she would fit in perfectly at your household. Like mother, like daughter...
Just kidding!
I knew you would do just fine in the interview. Just think, one down, one more to go. YAY!
Sooo ... did she give you any idea of a timeframe?
(and where'd you get that picture of my kid? dammit ... must protect pictures better)
My neighbor is always talking about duct taping her kids. Now I see what she means! Good luck with your home study and for God's sake, DO NOT tell them about this blog!
I can't imagine any more important a trait for prospective parents than a sense of humor (you know, besides that whole responsibility thing, yadda yadda). If she has one too, you're a shoe-in. I'm rooting for you!
Somehow that kid with the studs looks like a child you'd send out into the world. Of course they'd have a pack of candy ciggies rolled up in their tshirt too.
I love this post!!! PLEASE tell me you tried the duct tape thing!!
Hey, my high chair was stolen!!
Home visits. Peace a cake! Just ask my mom. Air freshners and closets are great!! LOL
Duct tape is so overrated. Velcro works just as well and the effect is far less jarring.
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