In my haste to return to my haven of love, I may have stepped on my vehicle's accelerator with a beautifully pedicured lead foot. I may have missed the carefully posted signage which indicates the speed one is allowed to travel at while on a certain road. I may have noticed flashing red and blue lights in my rearview mirror. I may have pulled over and handed my license and registration to a very young and extremely handsome officer. I may have tried batting my eyes and pushing up my girls. I may have been woefully ignored. I may have received a fine of $172 bucks for my trouble. I may be in deep shit when I tell my husband.
I, also, may have learned something important: Do not speed when you haven't showered or changed your underwear in over 24 hours. Because no matter how cute you think you are, you can never pull it off. Just ask the officer who is laughing his ass off remembering the Redneck mommy trying to flirt her pathetic self out of a speeding ticket. I swear he added $25 bucks on to my fine just to reward my efforts.