Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Monday Morning Massacre

Guess what I did yesterday? No, it wasn't blog, read my favorite blogs or even go near my precious computer. It wasn't bonding with my children, shopping for clothes or even cleaning my house. No, instead, picture me going to open up my deep freeze to pull out a package of grade A Alberta beef for supper later that night, only to realize, hmm, that's a funny smell. And what is that, is that, oh no, it is, a pool of blood at the bottom of my freezer. Oh oh. That's right, dear internet. My deep freeze was in the deep thaw. And I was in deep shit.

After slamming the lid down, like any good wife would do, I started yelling for my hubs. After all, I wasn't going wading in a puddle of melted blood, animal carcasses and bags of unfrozen vegetables and fruit without him. It smelled like the interior of a butcher shop and looked like someone had been massacred inside my freezer. Call me crazy, but this is one of those events that definitely falls into the category "For better of for worse." After dragging his sorry butt from bed, he then proceeded to not only pick the underwear from his ass, but tell me, and I quote: "It's a puzzle." No shit Sherlock, but who the hell is going to clean the fvcking puzzle up, because it certainly wasn't going to be me.

Turns out, it was me. Surprise! After my husband deduced the freezer wasn't broken, merely unplugged, he figured out it must have been the guys who cleaned my furnace and my ducts. Four days ago. While getting my ducts cleaned sounds kinky, (and the guy did have the most beautiful blue eyes) just thinking of the surprise he left for me takes the fun out of the kink. Bastard.

But no one can say he didn't screw me over. And let's face it, for a Monday, it was the most action anyone in this house got.


Update: The furnace dude, with the pretty blue eyes, came back and handed a fairly large check over to me, to cover the costs of replacing the spoilage. My rat bastard husband, however, never lifted a finger to help me clean out the deep freeze. I am currently plotting my revenge. But until I come up with a satisfactorily devious plan, you can bet your sweet bucks that he is not getting any!

12 Comments:

Blogger MrsFortune said...

Oh, ICK. I'm going to bookmark this post and show it to my husband because he wants to get one of those freezers and I'm against it.

Hey, you never know, maybe the cable repair man will have to stop by next week.

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Rene said...

Oh my, I think I would have had a nervous breakdown right on the spot. What a crappy way to start the week.

1:14 PM  
Blogger Fidget said...

oh GAH! ga ga ga gross! If DH left me to clean it up he would have pranced out to his work truck and discovered a 10 ft pile of bloody carcass and thawed peas - bastard!

2:23 PM  
Blogger craziequeen said...

wow - I don't come around for a few days.....and it's all happenin' here in Redneck town!

Hope you BiL gets better wuick, great pun.....

and ICK on the freezer (from a vegetarian!)

cq

2:55 PM  
Blogger jellyhead said...

Ah, T, if only you could find that dear furnace-cleaning man and make HIM clean up the mess.

Hope it wasn't too awful.

3:19 PM  
Blogger My float said...

So your husband made dinner, cleaned the house, went shopping and bonded with the kids, right?!

5:13 PM  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

What a mess! I would not have liked that at all...Did you have a lot of other stuff in that freezer, too? And, like---why oh why did those guys NEED to unplug your Freezer in the first place???
Everyone's 'speciality' oriented now but they seem to leave NEW problems in their wake, don't they?
OY!

5:26 PM  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Oh, yuck, what a mess! I would have called the guys who cleaned your ducts and told them about it...they might have had insurance to cover you food loss anyway. You still had to clean it up.

6:46 PM  
Anonymous jess said...

THAT really sucks ass! Sorry.

11:49 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

So, let me get this straight - you did have to clean it yourself, after all? Really? Eww, gah, ick. You're a much stronger woman than I. I've only just gotten used to the spit-and-shit extravanganza that is WonderBaby's world. And I still gag at cat vomit.

8:15 AM  
Blogger It's okay, Sweetie said...

First, I'd like to know what the deleted comment said. ;) I always raise an eyebrow when I see "removed by administrator..."

How NICE that they reimbursed you! I've never heard of that before.

Cleaning out the fridge is one nasty task. You could have sopped up the blood with husband's socks. Let 'em air out. Put 'em back in the drawer for him to wear to work.

What? You've never heard of the 'ol bloody sock trick?

11:37 AM  

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