I get that with mothering comes wiping green snotty goobers with kleenexes (or if it's an emergency, using your sleeve.) I even can eat the salivated mushy remains of their dinner (but let's face it, I am never that hungry that I feel the need to.) I don't flinch when a kid takes a swig of my drink and I watch as the backwash floats into my cup. You can sneeze on me, pee on me, even puke on me, and I understand this is what it means to be a mother.
I know that when there is a mutant turd in the tub, the job falls to me to clean it up. When a sliver needs extraction, a blister needs bursting, a wound needs washing, I know this is what a mom does.
I understand all this, I even invite it. I love being a mom. But I would just like to know, is why, oh why, can I not pee in peace? Is it too much to ask to be able to wipe my arse in private? Why must you ask me a question just as I am sitting on the throne? Did you not notice I was in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet? Is the closed door really code for "throw the door wide open and barge in to ask if you can have yet another cookie?"
I signed on for a lot of things when I gave birth, but I must have missed the chapter on this.