Wednesday, April 12, 2006

My dirty laundry

I hate laundry. Which is somewhat ironic since I am a clothes-horse. But buying and wearing clothes are distinctly different than washing, folding and putting away said clothes. It is a burden I mostly shoulder alone. Sometimes, if I am extremely lucky, my hubs will place his soiled linen at the foot of the bed, instead of kicking it under the bed.

I am trying to train my kiddies. They know to put their clothes in the laundry basket; not to put balled-up socks in the washer and to empty their pockets. (We had a disastrous incident involving bubble gum, rocks and a dead frog - all in the same load.) If I bribe them right, (translation, threaten to hang them by their toenails and withhold nourishment) they will even help put away laundry and fold the endless stream of mismatched socks, all the while muttering curse words under their breath.

All of this help does little to stem my hatred for laundry. But as the Mom, the job falls to me. So, I spend the better part of a day sorting, washing, folding, stacking and swearing as my piles slowly diminish. Yesterday, I noticed my son only had 2 pairs of undies in the wash. I haven't done laundry in over a week. He has bathed every night. WTF??? And let me tell you, these undies had some serious stainage on the back side.

Does this mean, in nine days and after nine baths, my darling son put the same dirty undies on his freshly washed body? And what's with the stains? Does he have a gastrointestinal problem I need to be aware of? Or does he have an aversion to tee-pee? Is this a boy thing no one tells you about?

I am going to choose to believe he prefers going commando and this is not a reflection on my parenting skills.


Anonymous Kristen said...

My huz tries to tell me that "men" don't need to change their undies everyday - he wears loose fitting boxers.

I tend to disagree - however, perhaps my husband has man instruction manual out that I don't know about...

11:22 a.m.  
Blogger Jenn said...

I have a house full of boys. I am the laundry queen. I see this changing no time soon. I feel your pain.

I SO feel your pain.


12:19 p.m.  
Blogger It's okay, Sweetie said...

This hit my funny bone BECAUSE as I write this, I have a pile 'o laundry in every f*ing room in this house.

How did this become my lot in life? I went to college, dammit. Now I match socks for a living.

Someone once told me that Einstein bought all the same color socks so that afterwards, he didn't have to match them up. He could grab and go.

Well, how brilliant of Albert. Maybe he should have spent a little less time on the Theory of Relativity and more time contibuting to Consumer Reports or Good Housekeeping.

On the other hand, he probably was most creative in a dirty pair of underpants.

3:08 p.m.  
Anonymous jess said...

Totally a boy thing! Boys are gross. Pee all over the toilet and floor. Not flushing the big jobs. Stained underwear. All requirements of being a boy.

I hate laundry more than anything because it is never all done. Usually just as i am putting away the last load and all the baskets are empty it's jammie time and they are all full again.

9:49 p.m.  
Blogger K said...

I can totally relate. When I discovered that both my elementary school age boys were not wiping after poo'ing I was horrified. It literally took about 6 months of checking butts at night and threatening to wipe for them (at school, in front of their friends) to change their ways. They still get streaks but at least they aren't chunky streaks!

Try looking under the bed or other strange places for the MIA underwear. I really hope you find them. I once found a dirty pair of my son's underwear in his lock-box. This is the box where he keeps all his greatest treasures, including money and pet rocks. When I asked why, he had no answer. The box still smells a bit odd.

I love my sons but boys really are ICKY!!!

10:06 a.m.  
Blogger moe said...

If you knew then what you know now... It's a good thing we get married and THEN have kids cause if women really knew how gross boys are the human race would be extinct.

10:50 a.m.  
Blogger Chico said...

Check the trash can in their rooms, if they have one.

7:01 p.m.  

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