Monday, June 19, 2006

It is On!!! (But not with me, Darling Hubs)

It is a big day in my neck of the woods. Today is the day history could be made. I admit, I know nothing about hockey and only care due to my husband's tender foot ministrations. But how could I not get excited when one of the greatest sport stories is about to unfold before our very eyes? A heroes' tales born from bleak adversity? After the tragedy of Roloson's crushing break in Game 1 and the team shoving their heads up their arses in Game 2, is not the final prize all the more sweet? I thank God for delivering to us, all Oiler fans and hockey fans together, the makings of real valour, shining in possibility, a glory forever unwon in the world where the Oilers swept or near-swept the series? Tonight, the Oil take on the Hurricanes one final time. It is a monumental moment. GO OILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear, I just read what I wrote, and I would like to know who snatched my personality and replaced it with that of an emotionally invested sports freak?? I blame this on the hubs. If he were home instead of at the peelers work, I wouldn't be sucked into watching our national pastime. No, instead, I would be enjoying my foot massage and whining that he loves Craig MacTavish more than he loves me.

Tonight is such a big deal that little league sports have been cancelled in the area. Instead of watching the rugrats chase a ball around the field or stand and pull their jersey's over their heads, parents have opted not to shove their kids out of any moving vehicles, and squeal their tires while they burn rubber to the nearest telly. There would have been a sea of unattended youngsters running loose on the field, with nary an adult in sight.

Probably safer just to cancel all soccer games tonight.

After having a lovely father's day conversation with the hubs last night, I enquired where he planned on watching the big game. He casually let it slip that he will be going to Nick's because every time he goes to Nash's the Oilers take a beating. I asked who Nick and Nash were and he responded by telling me that Nick and Nash are places not people. Apparently, Nick's is a sports bar with crappy wings and watered-down beer, while Nash's is a tacky little watering hole that specializes in bringing in small town strippers during the games intermissions. Like the dumbass he is, he thought to give Nash's a try first.

He said the beer was great, the screen was huge and you couldn't beat the wings. Then he casually replied that the titties gave him nightmares and perhaps I should come down there, because I could make great money.

WTF?? Did my darling husband just suggest that I peel off my clothes for a bunch of horny losers to toss coins at me while they eagerly await the return of the game?

Yes, dear internet, he did. He claims he was jesting, and it is a compliment.

I claim he just killed any chances of getting lucky upon his return and he might as well go to Nash's tonight. They might be the only titties he gets to see for a while.


Blogger Gette said...

There went all the hubby points for the footrubs, right out the window!

1:01 p.m.  
Blogger Stepherz said...

I'm not kidding when I say that my old man would NEVER, EVER, never, ever, EVER live that down! Strippers? I'm just not one of those gals who is at peace with that. You can look at my tits, or you can stare at the front door as I am closing it in your face, Buddy!

Luckily he knows that and is either very, VERY discreet or he just loves looking at my tits only. The latter is what I opt for believing. My blood pressure gets kind of high if I entertain the first.

1:54 p.m.  
Blogger craziequeen said...

[looks totally bemused]

don't worry, I don't understand the fervour over soccer here in England either.....

or cricket.....

or tennis.......

or rugby.......


well, any sport really! :-)


3:46 p.m.  
Blogger kimmyk said...

I don't worry about other women.....I always tell Honey he can't handle me how's he gonna handle them?

I useta follow hockey, but being a mom gets in my way now. I just wanna sleep.

5:19 p.m.  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Yeah, go with 'compliment.'

And then tuck them away long enough to make him sorry for giving props to the titties in that particular manner.

(Will be plugging for your team!)

6:23 p.m.  
Blogger wolfbaby said...

ohh my I don't know where to go with that one other then to say go get'em. I seriously doubt he will make that mistake again!!!

7:40 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What am I doing here... the game is on............

8:28 p.m.  
Blogger It's okay, Sweetie said...

Titties...Nashes...Oilers getting a beating. Ah, that was rich. Did you ever dream you'd fit those three topics in the same sentence?

8:59 p.m.  
Anonymous Jojo said...

I can't believe after all these years Boo is still screwing up like that! He did shit like that in grade 8!! Man, when is he going to learn? I guess when he stops getting such a rise out of you!! Did your voice go sonar?

6:52 a.m.  

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