Sunday, November 26, 2006

Pass the Puns, Please

I went and gave away the keys to the kingdom. I told my brother in-law and his wife about my blog. But I'm not overly worried about it. After all, this is the same brother in-law who taught me how to drive and his wife is the same lady who got very, very intoxicated with me, one blurry Christmas eve. We share a lot of history, and I have enough dirt on the two of them to make their lives very uncomfortable, if you know what I'm saying...

So to the Great White Hunter, and his wife, Martha Freakin' Stewart, welcome to my blog!

And to all of you out there, dear internet, on this cold winter day, have some cheese on me. It helps keep you warm on these cold Canadian days...


For many years a certain white whale and a tiny herring had been inseparable friends. Wherever the white whale roamed in search of food, the herring was sure to be swimming right along beside him.

One fine spring day the herring turned up off the coast of Norway without his companion. Naturally all the other fish were curious, and an octopus finally asked the herring what happened to his whale friend.

"How should I know?" the herring replied. "Am I my blubber's kipper?"


***My husband would like it on the record that he had nothing to do with this particular piece of cheese, and the pansy is thereby distancing himself from said joke and any particular wife who may have thought it funny....***

******EDIT: If you haven't weighed in on the debate whether men and women can be friends and nothing more, please give me an opinion. My BOO-YAH! dance depends on it...******

13 Comments:

Blogger Jenifer said...

Dear T,

I have been reading your blog for a few months now and I thouroughly enjoy it. As a matter of fact I enjoy it so much it was one of the main inspirations in starting my own. So in a personal plug for me... please come and visit me at..

www.dispatchmom.blogspot.com

Oh and my weigh-in... I do believe you can have a platonic relationship with the opposite sex... provided they are either ugly, 400 pounds, or gay.

10:19 AM  
Blogger jellyhead said...

That pun is one of your worst yet. Love it!

As far as men and women being platonic friends - as much as I in theory think it should be OK, when I take an inventory, my one close male friend is gay. Hmmmmm.

I think women can maintain the platonic relationship, but the guys often can't hold up their side of the bargain.

2:27 PM  
Blogger craziequeen said...

Hey T, :-)

Terrible joke, sweetie, but it made me smile - a little bit....

Don't forget to video your Boo-yah dance - there are some things we really MUST see :-)

cq

2:49 PM  
Blogger EmmaSometimes said...

Hurrah! for cheese! HAHA!

and thank you for your kind words on my bloggage. :o) I really appreciated it.

as for men and women. NO. They cannot be close friends. Cannot. Absolutely no. I completely agree with Harry.

3:47 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

*groan*

Dood! You told someone about your blog?! That dirt you have on them must be really good.

4:24 PM  
Blogger Junebugg said...

Careful, it seems that everyone I work with and all my relatives have found out about mine, now I have to censor every post. Of course once in a while I say "Fuck It" and post anyway. That way they leave me alone for a whlie..........

8:44 PM  
Blogger Rob Barron said...

I believe women can hold up their end of the 'just friends' bargain, which will MAKE a man hold up his end (no pun intended).

BUT, given the opportunity... let's just say men are the weaker sex.

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Liza said...

Hmm, this is my first time on your site but I feel compelled to throw myself onto the bonfire of the boo-yah dance and mention that I used to have that argument with my spouse of six years when he suddenly acquired a female friend. On and on the debate ranged, yes it WAS totally innocent, I thought we were all adults here vs. married adults do not have ****able single friends of the opposite sex,ever. And now we're separated. The end.

Git 'im!

12:44 AM  
Blogger B.E.C.K. said...

Women can be "just friends" and mean it, while men will say they're "just friends," but they're still thinking about sex.

I used to have a male friend who was an ex-bf of mine. We had a grand time hanging out platonically, until he found someone who would actually sleep with him and he told me his priorities had changed and he no longer wanted to be friends.

For years, my son's dad was all "my friend, _____...did you ever meet my friend, _____?...I had lunch with my friend, _____." I naively thought they were "just friends," then in 2004 he took me to court and is now with his friend, _____. (Oh, and I got to find out about it by seeing them on a date. Super fun.)

5:33 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

Oh this was a bad one.

Maybe your family will be like my family and read at first then realize "Yep, she's as boring as I thought she was" and they'll either get bored and stop reading or they'll start a blog of their own and tell us all the crap you do that annoys them. I can hardly wait!

Hi T's BIL and SIL. ::waving from Ohio. Can you see me? Cheesey grin::

6:15 AM  
Blogger K said...

Yes, I think it is possible but not very common.

I've been able to pull it off with husbands of my girlfriends or friends of my husband because of a mutual connection. But even a couple of those have had their awkward moments.

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MArtha freakin stewart here.....
we still love you ..don't forget I got stuff on you too boob lady :)

1:37 PM  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Boo on the joke. That's my pun.

6:05 PM  

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