Friday, June 23, 2006

Someone's In the Doghouse...I just Can't Decide Who

I'm having a problem now that my darling hubs is back home where he belongs. I am suffering from terrible fits of anxiety and occasional bouts of jealousy. I am worried my darling has forsaken me. My darling Nixon, that is. Little traitor. I spend four weeks wiping up his pee, picking up his poop, refilling his water bowl and scratching his belly, all for him to trade me in for a larger, hairier, human.

Granted, the hubs is not to keen on the furball. But I'm beginning to think his gruff aloofness towards the pooch is all a rouse. I would swear on my dear angel boy's soul that I heard the distinct murmuring of "Good boy," and "Who's your Daddy?" last night when I left the living room.

And I find it peculiar that the man who, for years, refused to get up in the morning, no matter how many times the alarm clock rang or how many jabs in the ribs he endured, is now the first one up out of bed. He claims it is because he doesn't want to have to clean up puppy poop, but I'm starting to think otherwise. Perhaps it is because he enjoys little Nixon's exuberant greetings after a long night in the kennel.

What really worries me is this morning, my hubs was sitting on the bed when I noticed him patting it, and telling me to come on and hurry up.

Stupid me, here I thought the hubs wanted a quicky, to get the blood pumping. Not entirely averse to the idea, I respond.

Turns out he was talking to my dog, trying to get him to jump on the bed.

Apparently a quick round of tug-o-war is more stimulating than a roll in the sheets with his willing wife.

Like I said. I'm suffering from terrible fits of anxiety and occasional bouts of jealousy...


Anonymous J. said...

LMAO! I find my husband talking to Daisy all the time - the dog he SWORE he'd have nothing to do with.

10:30 a.m.  
Blogger B.E.C.K. said...

Aw, on one hand it's cute that your hubs has taken to the dog. On the other hand...who wants to play second fiddle to a pooch? I bet you look better in lingerie than the dog does, though, so I'm anticipating this phase won't last long. ;^)

11:54 a.m.  
Blogger Softball Slut said...

Awwww what a cute puppy. I love/hate my sis and my dog. WE live together and share her. My sis babies that damn dog too much, and now that I have a kitten, It just get's crazy. But at least the babies get along great (cat and dog). The kitten is at her dad's house while my sis and I move. So Chassis is all by herself, and she is loving the attention from both mommies.

12:10 p.m.  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL...I love this! And Nixob really does kind of look like Nixon, doesn't he? Your hubby is a real pushover for that dog, and Bixon knows it. Just look at the look on his face in that photograph! HA!

12:45 p.m.  
Blogger ~*~ D ~*~ said...

My husband is the same way! HATES the cats and yet, he's the one who buys all the toys and treats and taught one to sit on his shoulder when he walks...

keep puppy treats in your pocket, he'll always come to you first that way!

2:03 p.m.  
Blogger J's Mommy said...

How can you blame him, that dog is adorable. I wish my husband felt the same way about our dog. Once upon a time it was his dog, he picked her out. Now, all of sudden she's mine and he hates her. Come check out my new site

3:25 p.m.  
Blogger craziequeen said...

Sadly, after 20yrs, we both sit in bed and talk to the cats.......

We get home....and greet the cats...

We walk about the house....and talk to the cats.....

It's a Rite of Passage, I think!


3:28 p.m.  
Blogger Oh My Lot! said...

... I don't know, sniff the hubby's ass when he walks through the door. Spin around 40 times before you lie down when you get into bed. Hump a berber blanket.

There're solutions, mama!

8:19 p.m.  
Blogger kimmyk said...

I don't know that is one adorable pup...I'd have to kick the honey outta bed to snuggle up on that one too I'm afraid.

Crap he's cute.

4:50 a.m.  
Blogger Stepherz said...

You're too funny! The pup is adorable. I'm with Kimmyk, I'd be tempted to cuddle with Nixon if I were getting a cold shoulder from the hubbers.

9:02 a.m.  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Been there, still doing it. Can't compete with the cute dog. THe sooner you realize that, the better your marriage will be.

12:24 p.m.  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I couldn't compete with our dog not to even try.

7:21 p.m.  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Aww, but with such a cute dog, who could resist? ;)

7:30 a.m.  
Blogger My float said...

methinks hubs is getting you back for all those skanky ho comments!!

4:33 p.m.  
Blogger wolfbaby said...

my hubs is a sucker for the pouch as well... i don't even try and compet... just wait till he hungry and then ask who he loves more *snicker*

7:40 p.m.  
Blogger MrsFortune said...

Okay, if your husband wasn't totally and completely in love with that dog, who is the cutest thing EVER, then there would be somthing wrong with him. Hubz, not the dog.

He can jump on the bed? The dog? Or are you going to buy those pet stairs they sell on TV? Those things rock.

12:57 p.m.  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

World domination begins with overpowering the men. Nixon knows this.

3:59 p.m.  
Blogger jennster said...

LMFAO! too cute!

3:09 p.m.  
Blogger It's okay, Sweetie said...

You'll have to kindly excuse my husband's comment, above. He shouldn't be discussing his own behavior in the bedroom...

1:23 p.m.  
Blogger Fidget said...

Ack! Youve been replaced by something that eats less and poops outside (well in theory).... if that dog learns to vaccum, your position might be completely usurped

9:51 a.m.  
Anonymous melissa said...

Our darling kitten was nearly hated by my husband who had hissed, "Do not bring that cat home," as I happily bought the litter pan and food before driving to the country to pick up a teeny white poofball we named Ivan. My husband barely talked to the kitten, didn't want him on the bed, and wanted nothing to do with him.

The cat? Loves my husband. Bites me.

My husband? Loves Ivan, calls him his baby, holds him and pets him, and caters to his every need.

10:35 p.m.  
Blogger Permanently under construction said...

Are you still there? I got worried, it's eben so many days since your last post.

5:10 a.m.  
Blogger MrsFortune said...

Yeah, where are you, mama?

4:36 p.m.  
Blogger Gette said...

Joining in the worried brigade

3:09 p.m.  
Anonymous Great Dane Addict said...

I was thinking the same thing.......where is Redneck Mommy!?

10:08 p.m.  
Blogger Junebugg said...

Love this! Perhaps you should wag your tail at hubs?

3:37 a.m.  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

Everything okay?

10:58 a.m.  
Blogger ~*~ D ~*~ said...

Where ya at?? Hope your ok....

come update as soon as ya can ok?

3:50 p.m.  
Blogger Boobless Brigade Master said...

Ahhh yes, that's the silent oath of all animals...
Pick the human that dislikes you the most (for no good reason!) and make it your mission to convert them.
The force is with you Little Nixon.

7:34 a.m.  
Blogger Fidget said...

i hope you are ok, I miss you!

12:18 p.m.  
Anonymous J. said...

Ummmm... excuse Ms Redneck?
Where the hell are ya?
Hope all is well.
Get your ass back here.

1:55 p.m.  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I miss you too and hope all is well.

9:20 p.m.  
Anonymous jess said...

Where, oh where are you?

I really hope all is well. I feel a little worried.

10:56 p.m.  
Blogger B.E.C.K. said...

If I chime in, too, will that help our plea reach critical mass? Come back!

6:11 p.m.  
Anonymous Izzy said...

Hey T.

Hope you're just enjoying summer so much you don't have time to blog. But opo in and let us know you're okay, k?

9:24 p.m.  
Anonymous Izzy said...

Oops, I meant POP in...

9:25 p.m.  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I miss reading your wonderful humor and I'm hoping that you are just vacationing with jellyhead, since she is in Canada vacationing with her family & friends.

3:20 p.m.  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Is everytning okay, dear "T"? Gee I hope haven't been posting for quite a long time....! You are missed by many, including me, my dear...
I hope all is well and that you will be back soon! Hugs To You!

1:29 a.m.  
Blogger kimmyk said...

Are you working is that what it is?

Are you playing with that adorable puppy?

Could you be working in the back 40 and haven't found your way back to your computer?

Did you go to get another piercing / tattoo and run off with the dude and are now in the sideshow circus?

Enquiring minds dear Miss T.

6:02 p.m.  
Blogger Thumper said...

Where is you...?

10:50 p.m.  
Blogger Fidget said...

seriously we are all worriedpgtmynly

9:46 a.m.  
Anonymous Meredith said...

Longtime reader - My first post ever is joining the voices in wondering where you are. I also hope everything is ok. Bloglines isn't the same without you.

2:01 p.m.  
Blogger Old MD Girl said...

I hope your absence means at least one of the following:

1) You're on a fabulous vacation filled with hot sex and fun times with the fam
2) You have a new book deal and no longer have time to write on your blog.
3) The theraputic benefits of this blog have run their course, and you no longer need us.

Forget all that. You were my favorite blog to read every day, I will never forgive you if you just desert us. Come back!!

6:23 p.m.  
Blogger Crazedmomof4 said...

I have been checking back to see if there is a new post. Nope there is not! Like everyone else, I'm worried something might be wrong, but hoping you are just to busy to write since it is summer. Please let us know all is well. My thoughts & prayers to you& your family.
You are one funny Redneck Mommy!

10:19 p.m.  
Anonymous Beth said...

Delurking to join in the worrying.

7:38 p.m.  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I'm getting really worried now because you left so suddenly without warning...I could understand your absence if you were on vacation, but I'm worried that maybe you have gone into some kind of deep depression.

I pray that you are okay and that you are just way tooo busy having fun with your husband, kids & Nixon this summer. I'll be back to check on you again.

Bear Hugs to a good friend,

5:37 a.m.  
Blogger Binky said...

I miss you, T. Hope to read you soon.

7:39 a.m.  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said... has been over a month since your last post. You are a gifted writer and posted on a regular also took it upon yourself to notify your readers of possible absences in the past, so this is why I have become very concerned. Please know that I'm thinking about you and I miss you.

Sandy :(

7:34 a.m.  
Blogger ~*~ D ~*~ said...

I miss you and I really hope that you are ok! We are all worried about you, I hope you are safe.

3:45 p.m.  
Blogger L-Girl said...

Where'd you go?

10:07 a.m.  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Where are you my dear "T"? I hope nothing is wrong...I wouldn't like that at all...!
Many of us are worried and/or concerned because it has been quite a long time since you posted.
Do let us know, dear "T". You are missed!

3:41 p.m.  
Blogger stefanierj said...

worried here too. Don't make me send you an email a day.

10:17 p.m.  
Blogger Lindsay said...

We are missin' you!

9:31 p.m.  
Blogger Tee-T said...

Sorry, I relate with Mr. Hubby on this one. I am so jealous of our dog. I never get ANY attention.
::whine:: ::whine::

I enjoy your blog!

9:57 p.m.  
Anonymous Izzy said...


I'm posting again because I am worried about you as are many others.

PLEASE drop someone an email and let us know that you are okay.

1:29 p.m.  
Blogger J. said...

Where the hell are ya?
You have us all worried.

Hoping you're okay...

10:04 p.m.  
Anonymous jess said...

damn and fuck! i'm sorry, but where are you?

could you just email me and let me know?

really, this sucks.

1:49 a.m.  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

T, What the heck?! Where are you?!

Hope everything's okay...

5:05 p.m.  
Anonymous mamatulip said... the risk of sounding like an internet stalker I'm starting to get worried, girl. Hope you're okay.

12:47 p.m.  
Blogger Mary-LUE said...

Well, it has been a few days since someone asked about you. You don't know me but I know what I can about you from reading your blog. My sense is you aren't answering because you aren't reading. I hope that you are working through whatever it is that has led to your abrupt departure from blogging. It's hard not to read into what might be the reasons. Despite what one might think, it is impossible to know.

Regardless, I just wanted to put a comment here and I hope others continue to do so. Because when you come back, I hope you will see how many people have missed you and care about you and are ready to listen to whatever you have to share.

9:54 a.m.  
Anonymous Beth said...

It's been a long damn time & I am worried. Please let us know you are ok.

7:34 p.m.  
Blogger Gette said...

Did the hillbilly neighbors finally succeed in driving you away?
Did the bridesmaid's dress from hell smother you in chicken cutlets?
Oh, please let us know you are well.

9:55 p.m.  
Anonymous metalmeredith said...

I am delurking once again to spread the worry word. I check my Bloglines feeds many times a day and wait for the next time that your blog is in bold with entries attached.

Please come back soon. You are missed!

6:42 p.m.  
Anonymous Sarah said...

Well, I'm a lurky blogger who doesn't really say much usually but I've noticed you're missing and I'm a little worried. I hope you're well. We can't wait for you to come back soon!

4:45 p.m.  
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5:32 p.m.  

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