Thursday, September 14, 2006

Morphing into a Metal Momma

I have a secret. Well, technically, I suppose I have many. But I only have one today that I am worried about. Let me explain, dear internet. You see, we all have different ways of dealing with our grief. Mine has been to do some slight body modifications, blog and cry. My husband's has been to abandon me, chase the almighty dollar and work himself into oblivion. (Aren't we the picture of health?) I forgive Boo for wanting to work out of town. I understand his reasons, I even agree with them. Sometimes. It is hard to remember that I agreed to this in the middle of the night and the only thing I have to snuggle up to is the damn dog who keeps letting out puffy little farts while his butt is a mere inch from my nose. But I digress.

Boo has been gone now since July 31. It's been a long stretch. He has managed to make it home twice in the seven weeks he has been gone. For a day at a time. It's not much, but it is certainly more than military wives receive and I am thankful. But in between his sporadic visits, I am left alone to fill my time and putter. And cope.

And let's face it. I'm not always so great at the coping part. There is only so many blogs and books I can read. Only so many shows I can watch on my three whole channels. And now that the kids are back in school, well that leaves house cleaning. Ahem. I mean, that should leave house cleaning, right?

But in my newly found understanding of life, I have decided life is much too short to worry about the dust on the mantle. So I ignore it and focus on the big things. Like babysitting my five month old nephew every day for ten hours a day. And when I don't have the devil baby himself, then I'm left alone trying to fill my days using my twisted imagination.

Somewhere along the way, about a week ago, I decided it was time for some more body modification. (My therapist sees the hole poking as a way to release my pain. I disagree. I think it just looks cool.)

So off to the piercing place I went. And out I came with two more spectacular holes. One in each boob.

They are healing, but my nipples are slightly green from bruising.

I haven't told my darling Boo. Who is a mere four hours from walking through the front door, tossing down his bags and wanting to reunite. Wink, wink.

Imagine his surprise when he finds his wife with a few new holes and oddly colored nipples.

Good times, dear internet, good times.

And as a side note, when some one tells you that you may feel a slight pinch. Don't believe them. Instead, you are about to feel as though someone is ramming a dull butter knife through your boob. Just so you know.


Blogger Gette said...

"Instead, you are about to feel as though someone is ramming a dull butter knife through your boob. Just so you know."

Ummmmm, duh! Man, to each his own, but I still think I'd be better off with support groups and tea and sympathy than the piercing. But I'm a weenie.

8:40 a.m.  
Blogger J. said...

I thought about doing that a few times, but whimped out.
Brave girl, brave.

8:55 a.m.  
Blogger Mary-LUE said...

Um... you're not gonna post pictures of the latest body art... are you? (Please say no!)

9:08 a.m.  
Blogger Softball Slut said...

I thought about getting nipples done, everyone's I know kept getting infected, so I went with my tongue pierced. I lurved it. But then I had to get a real job where I talked to people on a daily basis. It;s ok though. It's been a few years and you can still see where the hole was.

9:11 a.m.  
Anonymous meredith said...

How I have missed you and your exciting life. Perhaps this is also the path to self discovery and recovery? I have more tattoos than I can count. Darnit if they are too expensive to get on a daily basis.

Nipples eh? You are a brave, brave momma.

9:29 a.m.  
Blogger Lindsay said...

I have always wanted to get mine done but after breast feeding and pumping, I just dont think I can handle one more painful experience on my boobs! Maybe that will change once I let mom-nesia set it a little more!
You will HAVE to give us an udate of your hubbys reaction HEEHEEHEE

9:48 a.m.  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

HOLY CRAP. You are brave. My best friend in high school wanted a nipple ring so I got it for her for her birthday. I went with her when she got it done and she turned a shade of purple I've never seen anyone turn before...kind of like an eggplant. She said it was incredibly painful.

And that was only one boob.

11:17 a.m.  
Blogger ~*~ D ~*~ said...

My nipples inverted themselves reading that...OWCH!!!

11:22 a.m.  
Blogger ECR said...

If one was inclined to try to do better than teeth extraction in the pain department, getting your nipples pierced would be a good way to go about it. Now you and your dad really have something to commiserate over. Well, maybe not.

12:21 p.m.  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...


1:19 p.m.  
Blogger jellyhead said...

OWWWWW for the first and OWWWWWW for the other side!

I won't be following in your footsteps here. Although I had no nipple self-esteem problems to start with, they are just not the same, 2 breastfed kids later!

3:15 p.m.  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

Oh, to be a fly on the wall of your bedroom tonight.

Or maybe not. ;)

For some reason I'm picture Desi yelling at Lucy for some minor altercation. "T, you got some 'splainin' to do."

6:00 p.m.  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Well, you are braver than I could possibly ever be....! The thought of this makes my whole body go into a terrible tension in every muscle! I hope it all heals very very soon!

6:29 p.m.  
Blogger Motherkitty said...

I hope one of these days you won't be listed in Ripley's Believe It Or Not for setting the record for most piercings (I think some dude in Havana has that record. He looks like the metal man in your cartoon).

Hope Boo liked the change in you, green nipples and all.

6:51 p.m.  
Blogger Christina said...

Did you have them both pierced at exactly the same time?

A friend of mine had her nipples pierced, and she said they did both at once, because most people who do it one at a time will then never get the second one done.

I asked her about the pain, and she said, "Well, I felt a strong, piercing pain, and then I passed out, and when I came to, it still hurt."

You're a brave woman.

7:38 p.m.  
Blogger Thumper said...

Ow. Just..OW...

7:59 p.m.  
Anonymous Xangelle said...

Wow! You are just way too brave! Good on ya!

8:00 p.m.  
Blogger Lillithmother said...

Had ONE nipple done about 6 yrs. was enough! FYI - it didn't make the sex any better! Just had my nose done back in May...hurt a helluva lot less than the nipple! Hmmmm...maybe I should tell my therapist and see what her analysis is... "Sounds like ya wanna exceed the pain of birthing a baby outta yer vagina!" ;-)

8:49 p.m.  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Whoa. I can only imagine what that must've felt like. The first week of breastfeeding was the cruelest torture imaginable, I'm imagining it felt something like that, but faster...

3:15 p.m.  
Blogger My float said...

I'll always wanted to have nipple rings, but a dull butter knife through the boob? No thanks. I've already endured 18 months of breastfeeding which made my toes sweat.

4:53 p.m.  
Anonymous Rose said...

I think I'll stick to ears.

10:05 p.m.  

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