The Return of Pass the Puns, Please
I have a whole new appreciation for mommy bloggers. And to who I was ten years ago. Last night, my five month old nephew stayed the night so his mommy could eat, drink and be merry with her girlfriends. (And because I am a sucker for a bald-headed baby with cheeks so chubby you just want to chew them.)
However, I failed to take into account how many times a youngster of this age would like to eat in the middle of the night. (Those cheeks just didn't happen you know...) Nor did I factor in my age, or the fact that it has been six years since I last had to rise to feed a youngster.
And somehow, I managed to overlook the fact that those cheeks aren't nearly as adorable when they are contorted with rage because his sleepy aunt can't manage to heat up his midnight, four a.m. and 6:30 a.m. feeding quick enough. And my darling little devil boy nephew didn't even have the good grace to look embarrassed when I did manage to stuff the bottle in his screaming mouth after walking into a wall, bumping my big toe on the door frame and walking into the square edge of my coffee table. Conveniently located at knee level so as to ensure maximum amount of damage, pain and cursing in the middle of the night.
Never have I been so happy to see the tail lights of a car leaving my drive as I was this morning.
(Yes, we all know that when I see the headlights of same said car tomorrow, I will be back to my cheek chewing, gushing aunty ways. But that's tomorrow after I sleep in peace tonight, with only the soft snoring of Nixon, World's Greatest Doggy, to keep me company.)
Onto the business at hand. Please enjoy, and no complaints to the chef.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
However, I failed to take into account how many times a youngster of this age would like to eat in the middle of the night. (Those cheeks just didn't happen you know...) Nor did I factor in my age, or the fact that it has been six years since I last had to rise to feed a youngster.
And somehow, I managed to overlook the fact that those cheeks aren't nearly as adorable when they are contorted with rage because his sleepy aunt can't manage to heat up his midnight, four a.m. and 6:30 a.m. feeding quick enough. And my darling little devil boy nephew didn't even have the good grace to look embarrassed when I did manage to stuff the bottle in his screaming mouth after walking into a wall, bumping my big toe on the door frame and walking into the square edge of my coffee table. Conveniently located at knee level so as to ensure maximum amount of damage, pain and cursing in the middle of the night.
Never have I been so happy to see the tail lights of a car leaving my drive as I was this morning.
(Yes, we all know that when I see the headlights of same said car tomorrow, I will be back to my cheek chewing, gushing aunty ways. But that's tomorrow after I sleep in peace tonight, with only the soft snoring of Nixon, World's Greatest Doggy, to keep me company.)
Onto the business at hand. Please enjoy, and no complaints to the chef.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
posted by Redneck Mommy at 11:03 a.m.
13 Comments:
I have to remember that Grape Joke! LOL!
I can relate to what you say about the years making a difference..and this with a cat or 5...!
I COULD NO MORE DO 5 CATS NOW THAN 2! And one, right now---and he is easy--is sometimes more than I can do....Of course I am a LOT older than you...and to take care of a baby???? No way, my dear! (lol)
I'm so very glad you are back, T...it is sooooo good to be reading your blog again...So, it is my pleasure....!
I love that grape joke, lol!
And yes, this is why I have scant blog right now...zzzzzzzzzzz.
And well done on the new piercings! I will be thinking of you every time I, too, yelp in nipple pain. :-)
This reminds me of a joke my five y/o granddaughter gets such a kick out of telling:
What did six say to ten?
That seven eight nine.
Yes, we tend to forget what it takes to nurture a little one until we're used to sleeping all night and don't normally listen to a crying, screaming infant. Babysitting is fun, isn't it?
Last night I was also out being merry and let me assure you dear friend, she will suffer more today than you will, and you get to sleep tonight! Give loves and kisses to your girl baby for me and tell her happy belated!
T, I have MISSED those puns of yours!
Babies...yeah, we forget how much work they are. A close friend has an 11-month-old, and every time I go around to her place, I am cured of all desire for another child (not that the baby isn't beautiful - she is just so labour-intensive!)
Just when I am sad about no longer having a 'baby' to tend to, you remind me that it is not all Johnson & Johnson's baby smell, and toothless smiles. Thanks for that, you just scared my ovaries right up into my throat ;)
I love the grape joke...LOL
How quickly we forget.
Hopefully I won't forget that grape joke. That one was funny.
Oh, how I know what you mean...
omg...what's that baby doin up so much in the middle of the night??? i thought they slept through the night by then? gahhh. see it's little things like that remind me of why i wont be having no more babies.
be thankful the little lovely goes home and it was just for one night. you're a good friend to do that for her. i'm sure she appreciated it more than you'll know.
Ouch - I want to say welcome to our world, but it's not a very welcoming place is it. Soon enough he'll be older though and you'll just be the cool aunt. So there's that!
LOL! Seeing as my wee one is just 19mths, I can't drudge up that much pity for you, except to say, read your post the next time you get asked to babsit said nephew! ;-)
Hi T...read your post loved the joke. That reminds me not to volunteer to babysit any infants. I need my beauty sleep.
You're a brave soul, chicklet.
I watched my neighbour's brand new baby for a total of 30 minutes last week, and was praying for their return.
I didn't know what I was doing!
LOL ...
How soon we forget.
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